(Written 2 years ago...I have corrected my age and length of employment)
At 37 years of age I see myself finally realizing the value of my many experiences and searching for ways to use them as not only a benefit to myself but others as well. I believe the most significant part of my history is my youth between the ages of five and ten years old. Due to my fathers sacrifice and hard work we moved to the suburbs of Chesapeake, Virginia. For the first five years of my school life I was not only the only African American in my classes but also the only minority. I can remember one of my “friends” commenting “this isn’t a nigger this is my friend James” on the playground of Georgetown primary (then Georgetown Elementary school). I can also recall the anger at myself later in life for allowing myself to be socialized into a group of kids who thought and acted this way. As minorities began to move into the neighborhood I was more comfortable with the children I grew up with then the new strangers who were foreign to me.
Then around age eight I had an accident that split my right ear in two. After it healed scar tissue began to build up and I developed a keloid about the size of one of the small rubber balls kids get out of gumball machines. The resulting teasing I received from my peers played havoc on my self esteem. I went through 3 surgeries each one to remove this keloid and each time it came back. After each surgery I had to wear an appliance to put pressure on the keloid to try and keep the scar tissue from coming back and each time it would continue to grow anyway and earned me many nicknames (antenna ear is a personal favorite). Finally, in my junior year of high school, after my third surgery I received radiation treatment and it went away.
I remember going to a psychologist for two sessions while I was in middle school but I am not sure why I stopped or even who recommended I see one or why. My parents demanded that when I graduated that I go into the military which I did not want to do. So on my 18th birthday while my father was in the Phillipines (training with the Navy Reserves) I packed up and moved in with a friend. I had secured a job training telemarketers for a republican organization called the National Right to Work. With that money I brought my first car and finally begun dating and developing a social life and social skills. Unfortunately due to my youth and lack of maturity I ended up losing my job after 3 different employees quit due to personal reasons. The common denominator was I had dated and broken up with all three and all three were women I had trained.
With no means to support myself I returned home and entered first into the Airforce who gave me three choices of a career path and I awaited my departure date. When that date came the career they assigned me was that of a mechanic which while it was one of my “choices” it was my last “choice” and I went back to the recruitment office and told the recruiter that there was no way I was becoming a mechanic. I was forced to see the head of the recruiting branch and explain why I was attempting to back out of my contract with the United States government.
I went in with a copy of my Asvab scores and told the Officer (I don’t remember his rank) that I really had no desire to be in any branch of the military and the Airforce seemed the best of the available choices but that I was not spending the next four years doing something I had no intrest in for a organization I didn’t really want to be a part of. I remember him telling me I had made a commitment and I had to start from there. He told me it didn’t matter what made me join I had joined and I needed to fulfill my obligation. He asked me was I going to look my father in the face and tell him I had broken my word to the United States Government he also asked how I thought my mother would feel. I remember this tirade was going on and on and I finally said “you know what I can tell you can’t make me go by what you are saying and you are not going to guilt me into it. Either I can get one of my top choices or I am leaving.” At that he yelled “Get out of my office and I never want to see you again.” I don’t know why but I will never forget that experience and I remember it with both pride and shame. I wish I had of put only what I was willing to do on my choice selection sheet but I was proud of myself for standing up to this Officer.
I ended up getting a career I could deal with in the Army the job title was Logistical clerk. All I required was a field that dealt with computers and had a high concentration of women. The latter requirement probably was the wisest decision I made because although I was 20 and made it just because I thought I got along with women better there was always a higher ranking women that took me under her wing and helped me grow. I have always gotten a long better with women and I think it has to do with the fact that as a child I always seemed to stick out as an easy target to tease and ridicule. Males look for that target but women seemed less cruel and while as a child they didn’t have many crushes on me they at least treated me like a regular person.
I served eight years in the army and was honorably discharged in 1999. During my time in the army I struggled with my racial identity terribly because my interests were not those of a stereo-typical black male. I was into skateboarding and various rock groups and, almost like I hear of prison culture, things were not only racially segregated but people actually seemed to embrace and act out the stereo-types. The one thing that allowed me to associate and be excepted by the African Americans was my talent for music. As I matured I learned to open myself to people and associate and not associate with people for reasons of my own cognition rather then rules given to me by that culture. As I advanced in rank and begin giving monthly career/personal development counseling sessions to soldiers assigned to me I begin to see my struggles in each soldier and I was trying to help them but I did not really understand that they were different than me. The military wants us all to be the same though and hopefully I did more good than harm. I got engaged my 4th year in the service and reenlisted thinking one dramatic life change at a time was enough. She was also a soldier and our marriage lasted nine years. My ex wife was Mexican and my current girlfriend is Japanese. This does lead me to wonder why I rarely date women of my own race.
I now work in the Student Activities Department at Southwestern College where I have been employed seven years. I volunteer with the Juvenile Court Community Schools to try to be a role model and assist at risk youth. My father and mother are still together and live in Chesapeake Virginia where the bulk of my family still lives. I have two younger brothers and credit a lot of my success and strength to the fact that my father was a great role model and taught me how to be a man.
As I read article after article about the $343,000 retreat AIG threw the week of November 3, 2008 I was a little angry. Honestly, I was very angry. This wasn't a "how could they" anger either. This an ...more
Posted by James Bond on November 14th, 2008 • 343 Views
Need your support. We are "Helping Seven in Twenty-Eleven", can I send you some information? esther.pinkston@gmail.com or 585-503-4114
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Esther Pinkston on 01/19/2011
Thank you James for replying. Welcome. I look forward to knowing more. Please access the PRESS RELEASE at www.elizaearsman.com. Have a Blessed day. In Christ. Eliza.
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Eliza Earsman on 09/12/2009
