Dudes have me messed up...

7 replies · 4828 views · Started by BreathingDiamond0689 · Jun 2007

Have you ever had a problem getting over a person you loved, who really didn't care about you? Random topic, but its been occupying my thoughts how my mind can even fix itself to care so much about the person who proved to really not have my best interest at heart. Why do we want things we can't have (like trying to change someone to your perfect fit)?

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Blutifully Human from Washington, DC · Jun 2007

#1 Reply

Becomes sometimes the fantasy is more powerful than reality. As women, sometimes we tend to fall in love with who we imagine the man to be, rather than who he really is. We think of his potential, we think of all of his good qualities, and we think of the possibility of who he could be. And we hold on to the fantasy. We think of all of the time we invested, the pieces of our heart we gave away, the love we sacrificed...and we don't want it to all have been in vain. When things get hard, when he becomes a ****, when the good times become far & few in between...we hold on to the fantasy. Hoping, praying, and ernestly believing that oneday...maybe just oneday...it will be a reality

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theTRUTH · Jun 2007

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BreathingDiamond0689 wrote:
Have you ever had a problem getting over a person you loved, who really didn't care about you? Random topic, but its been occupying my thoughts how my mind can even fix itself to care so much about the person who proved to really not have my best interest at heart. Why do we want things we can't have (like trying to change someone to your perfect fit)?

Because that old saying "opposites attract" rings true. We know that to our right is our soul mate, but we are always tempted to see whats going on with that foolishness to our left. Also, we tend to "settle". By that I mean, not getting back as much as we put into a relationship and by entering a relationship with people who are not mentally, intellectually, spiritually and emotionally on our level. Young people rush into relationships without taking the time to go through the getting-to-know process and that hurts us in the long run. Now and days we have to be careful with our hearts because a **** will take it and break it.

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C Nels · Jun 2007

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I have to cosign on that last statement Truth said "Young people rush into relationships without taking the time to go through the getting-to-know process and that hurts us in the long run. " At the risk of sounding like a parent I have to say, "Live a little while longer" and you'll realize it isn't/wasn't worth it. If I knew then what I know now, there wouldn't have been any wasted time when I wasn't wanted, I'm better than that. A one-sided relationship isn't a relationship......it's a crush.

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Blutifully Human from Washington, DC · Jun 2007

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BreathingDiamond0689 wrote:
Thanx to u all who replied. I see what you all are saying and it makes sense.Esspecially Blutifully Human's response. By the way, you're a really good writer. It was very poetic. But yeah...I think I'ma just stop investing my time in people for a min. Need to put more concentration on myself first.

Thanks girl. I tend to think poetically, so sometimes my words come out that way. But as for your situation, trust...I understand girl. Been there, done that, could write a novel about it lol. And they guys do make a valid point...although I do wanna throw a curveball in. I don't think rushing into things is just a young people thing, I think it's a society thing. Because my mom has the same testimony that I have (if not a bigger one), and she wasn't just my age when she was making the same mistakes. Divorce rates are higher than ever in the US, and these aren't just people who got married when they were young. We live in a microwave society. People want results, and they want them quickly. They want progress, but no process. Regardless of how long you have been alive, everything starts internally. If there's something going on within, if there is some correcting that needs to be done, if there is a void or something missing...regardless of your age, it will have a streamline effect in your life.