UPDATE: So I'm not exactly single anymore...so there's no need to further reply to this post. Thanks to all that posted their thoughts though.Ok so someone asked the ladies why we were single....i thought "great question." I wanna know too. Why am I single? If a girl knows what she wants and let's u know this from the beginning....y do u run when u claim to want a challenge? Sure I've been told that my standards are high and I expect a lot out of a guy, but shouldn't you all have high standards and expect ONLY the cream of the crop too??? I've been told that I'm pretty, beautiful, and all that stuff...smart, sweet, yadda yadda yadda....often opinionated and headstrong, but aren't all of those good qualities to have?! So why can't I seem to find a guy (a black guy) who has complimenting qualities????? What do you think?! :roll:
I get the same thing. I talked to my homeboy about it and he said that some guys see girls like us as "demanding."
Girls like us are deemed stuck-up, but in reality, we don't like to play games. We don't want to waste time with someone who doesn't make us happy.
So I think some:
1) Are intimidated by a woman with high standards
2) Have a girl and was not in search of a female with her head on straight (because they don't want a mistress that is better than their main)
3) Know that they do not possess the qualities that we seek and decide to save themselves the trouble, time, and embarassment.
4)Think that our standards are rules and that involvement means serious relationship.
Hmmmm!!! You make very good points! See all my guy friends want me....but like u said, they look at me as their mistress. Too many people claim i'm their fantasy or forbidden fruit....the girl u only dream u could have....but they never try!!! WTF?! I'm not rude unless u make me that way....and does my face say "DON'T APPROACH ME"....i'll admit that there are times when I don't like to be "chased down"...like when im shopping with family or at work b/c there is a time and place for everything...but c'mon.....i'm a simple girl just looking for nice guys. No need to be afraid! I won't bite!
1. The levels of testosterone are too high, and like Carlene said, we go for more of the easy girls
2. Most guys our age are afraid of the girls who got their stuff together and are on the right mindset... we never show this, but deep down inside we are intimidated
3. Maybe you have the standards a lil too high, i'm not sayin lower yourself to be a ho or what not, that's the last thing i don't wanna see, but maybe you set yourself on too high of a standard for guys... wanting the perfect man.... gotta remember that if you talk to someone, you have to accept their flaws... nobody's perfect (i'm sure you know that, i'm just sayin)
that's all i can think of for now
nia..i think u need to look @ tha quote in ur siggy cuz that is probably the answer to the question of y your single now. lawd knows thats what im doin..just taking my time and waiting for God to send me someone special. holla @ ya gurl!!
It's not a matter of being unapproachable but u may be intimidating or uncomprising in relationships or first impressions like AggieWarrior said NOBODYS perfect! I feel that Im pretty, beautiful, and down 2 earth and yet SINGLE* I dont ever ask myself that question! Its not my concern* Someone is out there for u* Your PERFECT somebody is out there. Maybe if u lighten up I dont kno just my perspective on whats been said on your post.[img][/img]
It's not a matter of being unapproachable but u may be intimidating or uncomprising in relationships or first impressions like AggieWarrior said NOBODYS perfect! I feel that Im pretty, beautiful, and down 2 earth and yet SINGLE* I dont ever ask myself that question! Its not my concern* Someone is out there for u* Your PERFECT somebody is out there. Maybe if u lighten up I dont kno just my perspective on whats been said on your post.[img][/img]
I read your post a while ago and have been thinking on it. You're in a frustrating situation... you are attractive and intelligent (in other words a good catch) yet still alone. Why is this?
Chances are, one of two scenarios are at play:
1. You are not coming into contact with the type of people you would like to meet or who would be seriously attracted to you.
Or..
2. You are subconsciously giving signs that you are not single, not looking, or aren't interested.
You should be able to figure this out by looking at some of your routines and behaviors for things that could possibly be interfering with your love life. Has anyone approached you in the past two months... if so, what kind of person were they? Where were you when they did?
You simply might not be in the right places where it is convenient for someone to start up a conversation with you, or where the type of person you seek is likely to be. If you stay on the move, it's hard to meet new people. Where do you like to hang out, and where do you spend the most time during your day? Make a point to change, because what you are doing now has gotten you results you don't want. Take a new route to class, show face at some new activities, stretch your limits. Find something you normally wouldn't even consider doing, and give it a shot. At best you meet some new and interesting people... at least, you have tried something new and might even enjoy it.
The other key is to make people feel comfortable with getting to know you. Guys have feelings too and nobody likes getting shot down. If you go out of your way to let people know you are friendly and laid back, people will see you much differently. Taking one step towards people around you will bring them two steps closer to you. Make a point to smile more often. Strike up a conversation with the people around you whereever you go... in class, the cafeteria, out shopping, or whatever... especially with people you've never spoken with before. This will help people let their guard down and get to know you better. Hope this helps. Holla
:arrow: You simply might not be in the right places where it is convenient for someone to start up a conversation with you, or where the type of person you seek is likely to be. If you stay on the move, it's hard to meet new people. Where do you like to hang out, and where do you spend the most time during your day? Make a point to change, because what you are doing now has gotten you results you don't want. Take a new route to class, show face at some new activities, stretch your limits. Find something you normally wouldn't even consider doing, and give it a shot. At best you meet some new and interesting people... at least, you have tried something new and might even enjoy it.
The other key is to make people feel comfortable with getting to know you. Guys have feelings too and nobody likes getting shot down. If you go out of your way to let people know you are friendly and laid back, people will see you much differently. Taking one step towards people around you will bring them two steps closer to you. Make a point to smile more often. :arrow: Strike up a conversation with the people around you whereever you go... in class, the cafeteria, out shopping, or whatever... especially with people you've never spoken with before. This will help people let their guard down and get to know you better.
Ok...point taken! I'm everywhere!!! I go to all types of places and meet all types of people, but it seems like only the "thugs" want to "holla" at me!!! Does my face say "HOODRAT looking for a ****?" Most people would say I'm high maintenance...or maybe high class....so y don't the guys of the same caliber approach me? Do they want lower maintenance women? Sure...I'm a challenge, but I coulda sworn ya'll liked that. Secondly...granted I'm told I don't smile as much as I could....that's because my mood is written on my face, but I do talk to EVERYONE....i'm from the south. That southern hospitality shines through. I'm often told that someone's first impression of me (from far away...meaning without any conversation) is that I'm stuck up. I don't dress stuck up, and though I speak correct english I wouldn't say that I sound stuck up either, but after the fact I'm such a cool person. :evil:
I dunno...I just think that ya'll are scared of me. What do u think?
:arrow: You simply might not be in the right places where it is convenient for someone to start up a conversation with you, or where the type of person you seek is likely to be. If you stay on the move, it's hard to meet new people. Where do you like to hang out, and where do you spend the most time during your day? Make a point to change, because what you are doing now has gotten you results you don't want. Take a new route to class, show face at some new activities, stretch your limits. Find something you normally wouldn't even consider doing, and give it a shot. At best you meet some new and interesting people... at least, you have tried something new and might even enjoy it.
The other key is to make people feel comfortable with getting to know you. Guys have feelings too and nobody likes getting shot down. If you go out of your way to let people know you are friendly and laid back, people will see you much differently. Taking one step towards people around you will bring them two steps closer to you. Make a point to smile more often. :arrow: Strike up a conversation with the people around you whereever you go... in class, the cafeteria, out shopping, or whatever... especially with people you've never spoken with before. This will help people let their guard down and get to know you better.
Ok...point taken! I'm everywhere!!! I go to all types of places and meet all types of people, but it seems like only the "thugs" want to "holla" at me!!! Does my face say "HOODRAT looking for a ****?" Most people would say I'm high maintenance...or maybe high class....so y don't the guys of the same caliber approach me? Do they want lower maintenance women? Sure...I'm a challenge, but I coulda sworn ya'll liked that. Secondly...granted I'm told I don't smile as much as I could....that's because my mood is written on my face, but I do talk to EVERYONE....i'm from the south. That southern hospitality shines through. I'm often told that someone's first impression of me (from far away...meaning without any conversation) is that I'm stuck up. I don't dress stuck up, and though I speak correct english I wouldn't say that I sound stuck up either, but after the fact I'm such a cool person. :evil:
I dunno...I just think that ya'll are scared of me. What do u think?
That could be true... maybe it's just a matter of time before you run into someone who is ready to take their chances.
