Hello All,
I know this may sound a little redundant but, I was having a conversation with a male friend of mine and I wanted to know from a man's perspective "why do men cheat." Whoa, did he give me an earful ladies..lol. Anyway read the conversation below and feel free to share your feelings, opinions, etc. on this subject.
Nyla:
I need some real talk right now. I'm so tired of men (black especially) saying how they want a good woman who's smart, funny, attractive, self driven,
have a career, freaky, and the whole nine and then when they get them you all don't know how to handle them. Some even become intimidated. What is really up with all that. Why do men cheat? why would a man have sugar at home but, go out in the streets and start messing with ish? Explain this for me please.
Male:
The only simple way I can put it is that it is nature. A man will be a man first, my example I always use is even the Fine Halle Berry, couldnt keep here men from going astray, and she is mostly every mans dream......And for most men it is all about the hunt, and after the actual ****, it is boring, and they are out to hunt once more. It is not rocket science, just know that it is nothing that the women does, it is just what we do, no matter how great the woman is, there is always another woman on the radar.
We need to live by the 80/20 rule! Like the guys mentioned in the movie "Why Did I Get Married"....A man can have a woman with 80% of what he needs and will mess around with another woman for that other 20%....or vice versa, her messing around on him.If you can't give me more than the 80% I have now, K.I.M.! Come June, you're gonna have to up that to the full 100%! lol
Therefore, it is important to find an individual that complements you spiritually, mentally, and physically.
That basically sums up everything. You have to find someone you are compatible with in all areas and find someone who is loyal to God. If a person isn't loyal to God, number one, how is he/she going to be loyal to you? The root of the problem is that people haven't developed a relationship with God. How are you going to know anything about marriage and how to conduct yourself in one, if you haven't developed a relationship with the author/creator of marriage? Also, that includes dating. You shouldn't even be dating if you haven't developed a relationship with God or you aren't ready for marriage. That is the reason why people do disloyal things in a marriage, because they don't put Jesus in the equation. Without Jesus, a marriage will fail. You can't have a marriage without putting God in the equation because he created marriage. You need to go to the author and the source to get guidance. Also, if you are obedient to your covenant with God and obedient to the covenant that you swore before God and a minister to be faithful, then a person shouldn't have a problem with marital unfaithfulness.
Covenants are based out of loyalty. If you research covenant ceremonies, with different tribes of people, they are all based on loyalty to the two parties. It is the same with marriage, you have sworn to be loyal and to be together forever. Also, there is no way out of a covenant. There isn't any excuse to step out of a covenant because someone is 80/20. In God's eyes he doesn't see that as a valid excuse to step out into marital unfaithfulness. All he sees is the covenant that you swore before him. God takes covenants very serious, because our Christian foundation is based on a covenant. Jesus came and fulfilled the new covenant. God even swore by himself that he would keep his covenant with his people. So if people start viewing the seriousness of covenants they will not be as quick to rush into covenant/marriage with just anyone. They will think long and hard before they jump or rush in! If you feel that you have to cheat on a person, why in the world are you talking to them? You automatically know that he/she isn't the right one for you, if you feel that you have to cheat on them. So quit wasting each other's time and move on. That is my theory.
That basically sums up everything. You have to find someone you are compatible with in all areas and find someone who is loyal to God. If a person isn't loyal to God, number one, how is he/she going to be loyal to you? The root of the problem is that people haven't developed a relationship with God. How are you going to know anything about marriage and how to conduct yourself in one, if you haven't developed a relationship with the author/creator of marriage? Also, that includes dating. You shouldn't even be dating if you haven't developed a relationship with God or you aren't ready for marriage. That is the reason why people do disloyal things in a marriage, because they don't put Jesus in the equation. Without Jesus, a marriage will fail. You can't have a marriage without putting God in the equation because he created marriage. You need to go to the author and the source to get guidance. Also, if you are obedient to your covenant with God and obedient to the covenant that you swore before God and a minister to be faithful, then a person shouldn't have a problem with marital unfaithfulness.
Covenants are based out of loyalty. If you research covenant ceremonies, with different tribes of people, they are all based on loyalty to the two parties. It is the same with marriage, you have sworn to be loyal and to be together forever. Also, there is no way out of a covenant. There isn't any excuse to step out of a covenant because someone is 80/20. In God's eyes he doesn't see that as a valid excuse to step out into marital unfaithfulness. All he sees is the covenant that you swore before him. God takes covenants very serious, because our Christian foundation is based on a covenant. Jesus came and fulfilled the new covenant. God even swore by himself that he would keep his covenant with his people. So if people start viewing the seriousness of covenants they will not be as quick to rush into covenant/marriage with just anyone. They will think long and hard before they jump or rush in! If you feel that you have to cheat on a person, why in the world are you talking to them? You automatically know that he/she isn't the right one for you, if you feel that you have to cheat on them. So quit wasting each other's time and move on. That is my theory.
That basically sums up everything. You have to find someone you are compatible with in all areas and find someone who is loyal to God. If a person isn't loyal to God, number one, how is he/she going to be loyal to you? The root of the problem is that people haven't developed a relationship with God. How are you going to know anything about marriage and how to conduct yourself in one, if you haven't developed a relationship with the author/creator of marriage? Also, that includes dating. You shouldn't even be dating if you haven't developed a relationship with God or you aren't ready for marriage. That is the reason why people do disloyal things in a marriage, because they don't put Jesus in the equation. Without Jesus, a marriage will fail. You can't have a marriage without putting God in the equation because he created marriage. You need to go to the author and the source to get guidance. Also, if you are obedient to your covenant with God and obedient to the covenant that you swore before God and a minister to be faithful, then a person shouldn't have a problem with marital unfaithfulness.
Covenants are based out of loyalty. If you research covenant ceremonies, with different tribes of people, they are all based on loyalty to the two parties. It is the same with marriage, you have sworn to be loyal and to be together forever. Also, there is no way out of a covenant. There isn't any excuse to step out of a covenant because someone is 80/20. In God's eyes he doesn't see that as a valid excuse to step out into marital unfaithfulness. All he sees is the covenant that you swore before him. God takes covenants very serious, because our Christian foundation is based on a covenant. Jesus came and fulfilled the new covenant. God even swore by himself that he would keep his covenant with his people. So if people start viewing the seriousness of covenants they will not be as quick to rush into covenant/marriage with just anyone. They will think long and hard before they jump or rush in! If you feel that you have to cheat on a person, why in the world are you talking to them? You automatically know that he/she isn't the right one for you, if you feel that you have to cheat on them. So quit wasting each other's time and move on. That is my theory.
Just playing devil's advocate for a minute, are atheists cheaters by default?...or Elvis and Wayne Newton at the "Little Chapel of Love". "Do you take this hunk-a-hunk-a burning love to be your wife?" lol
Speaking for myself, cheating is not an option for me. I prefer to just let him go, give him the boot. I would be hurting him but degrading myself, I think. You know the saying: Two wrongs don't make a right.
I cheated one time in my life, honestly, on a man that stole my heart and crushed it, but that one time was the most sweetest revenge I have ever done. I made sure he knew and I don't regret it.
How did you feel after you cheated? Was it planned? The guy that you cheated on him with, was he worth it? You say "you prefer to let him go, and give him the boot." Was this a concept after you cheated or before, and if so did that rule just fall out the window.
How did you feel after you cheated? Was it planned? The guy that you cheated on him with, was he worth it? You say "you prefer to let him go, and give him the boot." Was this a concept after you cheated or before, and if so did that rule just fall out the window.
I felt great while I was doing it but later I felt a little guilt. Thinking on the stuff he did to me just made that little guilt go away. I said before, I didn't and don't regret it.
It wasn't about the guy I cheated with, it was about revenge.
It wasn't planned just one of those things that just falls in your lap.
That was one of those things that the little angel and devil that sit on my shoulders, agreed on.
I'd give him the boot because it's not worth it. I'd feel like I'm playing his game. And if I have to go through that, I prefer not to be bothered with him. My rule still stands.
