Sigh...
Ok, when you go back to your parents house during the summer how do you do it? What works? What does not work?
I understand that college kids are slow to get back into curfews, allowances, chores but I am stumped as for what is real.
We have asked our darling, wonderful and very social son to be home at a certain time during the week(11:00pm) and another time on the weekends(2:00am). We need to sleep, work and know that he is in safe.
We ask that he get up in time to get himself to work at the jobs that we got for him. I have driven him this whole week!
We ask that he not spend all his money( that we give him) in one day. Everyday I am opening my wallet giving him more money. His dad don't play that.
We ask that he not come in our house BLAZED. He comes in semi-blazed...thinks I am stupid...His dad is asleep when he crawls in.
He is cool with respecting the vehicles and he does clean up after himself ...mostly.
Am I doin' way too much? You know how dad's are. They are quick to say: "Get out of MY house"... I have given him the whole downstairs for the Summer. Husband says: That level is in the mortage too...
I just wanna have a nice Summer...HELP!!!
go upside his head w/ a broom handle... that's what my mom tells me :grin:
but naw... he's really not respecting your rules of the house... i know when i come home, i don't really have a curfew, but i have the decency and respect to call and let my mom know i'm gonna be alright... if i call at least one time, she knows i'm good...
if this continues though, you have to take more action... but 11pm and 2am is a bit hard to follow after having unlimited freedom in college... i know that much...
how about you get off the computer and go talk to your son :-)
100% appropriate :-D
Don't nobody else think its wrong/dumb/odd that a :mom" is on the internet asking a bunch of 18-20's for advice on how to handle her son?
She's askin cause she knows that we would understand because were relate to him the best. It makes sense. I believe that she is tryn to find a decent way to deal with it because if she goes her husbands way her son would most likely be out of the house. One thing that I do know about some mothers is that they can't stop spoiling their children sometimes. My mother does the same thing to me, but I don't like accepting her money or anything too much unless I need it. I would recommend just cuttin him off in that dept. if he has a job. He should be able to handle his own business after his first check. And with the curfew, does he wake you up when he comes in or something? Just show some tough love.
You are being too generous.
He wants to be a man, it will be cheaper just to send him out and rent an apartment for 3 months. Let him be on his own there.
What my parents did...except I don't disrespect my parent's household in any way, shape or form. They just kicked me out because they live in a retirement home now.
:?
Thunder
I can understand her wakin her son up for a job that she got him. Cuz if he doesnt show up that makes her look bad. But I would never allow my son to come in the house "blazed". Stop givin him money hell he has a job he doesnt need it. And for God sakes sit him down and talk to him. Teach him how to manage his money. Thats what my grandma did
Thank you to all of you who so generously replied. I REALLY appreciate it.
I was on the computer because son was "out". I am not simply looking for the folks here to "Dr. Phil" me. I sincerely wanted your thoughts because I got SO many folks in my ear about our son. Thanks again.
Sadly, we have not seen or heard from him since this time yesterday :sad: So, some will ask why are you back on this compter then? I am back because I wanted to see your responses. I am also back because it stops me from "mother-rage" where I go drivin" by ALL his friends homes and asking all kinds of excellent questions. In short "I make the block hot" as the son says.
My husband don't wanna hear it. He was about to call a locksmith about an hour ago(!). My folks, his grandparents think I am beyond silly and should have done much of what some of you all said a long time ago so, I can't call them. The pastor said to whoop his you know... My "friends" will tell their kids who happen to be our son's friends and well, some of you know what "good" comes of that! So, I can't call them either. So, it's me and "you" for now.
Frankly, I am terribly embarassed that I am this mom who is completely lost for words, actions and deeds...
So Lemme get this right you dont wanna go lookin for you son cuz he says "You make the block hot?". OBVIOUSLY hes doin somethin he shouldnt be doin anyway
Yes.
No mom wants to create trouble for their child, kid...I mean young man.
I think he uses that slang phrase for no real purpose. Do I really think he is doing something? SIGH...I don't know anymore.
This **** because you think you work like a dog all your kids life providing, giving, and sacraficing and the least they could do is get some "act-right". You would swear that I never taught him a thing.
I am so tired of folks telling me that I spoiled him, babbied him and that I gave him too much. Well, I did what I thought was best and here I am.
I was always afraid of doing too little...
Husband is saying we need to go look for him so I gotta go. He is only doing this because he knows how worried I am.
You know, I have never hit our son, some say that's a part of the problem. I always listened and talked and worked with him. Sadly, I could really do one of those wrestling moves where I jump off something and land on him with elbows etc. I would probably wind up hurting myself.
Wish us luck!
Frankly, I am terribly embarassed that I am this mom who is completely lost for words, actions and deeds...
