Sigh...
Just opened the mail. I got the the bill for my sons HBCU for the fall of 05 and the Spring of 06...
I just ain't feelin it :-(
Partna's grades were decent. He still been a handful this Summer but it just don't feel like it felt this time last year when he was going to be a Freshman.
I am lookin at upwards of 25K for the tuition and fees...We put him in a spankin brand new apartment so that's another 6K. We gotta do about 4 or 5 round trip air fares...August, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break and Homecoming for me and the hubby... His spending money runs about 400 hundred a month which is another 4K...He don't got no new clothes or shoes so Im mo have to get him sumthin...Books and supplies is gonna be about 600 hundred cause he in the B school...We gotta ship all his stuff back which is another 300 hundred bucks...Partna wants us to ship his car as he is gonna get the B-mer in August...I gotta help him set up his apartment...This is the short list when I think of some other expenses for him...
So, we talkin about...40K... Son will bring aproximately 3K to the table after his Summer work is done.
We got it but, I just ain't motivated to break him off like this but, I ain't gonna fake on him...HELP....
Give me some inspiration, motivation...fo real! NO HATIN...thanks!
Bear...
You win...You got me. You got me when I was down and since it is your style I'll even let you get me while you clown...
Have at it...do your thing...show um what ya workin wit!
When writing or speaking to a group, you have to know your target audience. I think a lot of the negative feedback could have been avoided by recognizing that these are young people from various backgrounds. Many have loans and work to help defray the cost of education. Why speak to them about Navi's and Bmers if you don't know if all of the audience can relate? That's why they accuse you of bragging. Save all the name dropping for your peers. Maybe after a Facet meeting, Links, or J&J activity. It would be perfectly ok to discuss financial planning, your latest St John's outfit and summer in the Hamptons or the Vineyard . Not here.
Sir, what you are saying that what she says is making us feel bad because many of us are from various economical backgrounds.. yes i realize that, but i wouldn't put my financial sitution on the internet, and a message board at that. So please do not say that we are accusing her of bragging because we don't have something. say shes bragging because no one does that kind of stuff. and i have had a summer in Martha's Vineyard, but thats no-one's bussiness. And if College mom had read my statement i said that if it was nothing other than asking for pure advice i apologize and wish her sucess in her son's finances..
Oh no, I'm not saying she makes you feel bad. Because you should not. I'm saying she should discuss this in her circle, among working married folks who earn like she earns, not all this with college students. Actually to discuss what you have is considered bad taste . People could get the impression that you're not used to it, nouveau riche. I'm a mam, not a sir.
College Mom,
Are you truly providing what your son needs by giving him a BMW, an apartment as a sophomore, and $400 a month spending money?
Although your family appears to be well off, it doesn't mean that you're providing a good example for him.
College is supposed to build character, it's about survival, networking and learning from your mistakes. Right now, you've made your son appear a bit spoiled and you're setting him and your household up for a rude awakening, when his sense of entitlement comes into play.
I'm older than many on this board, and I am not a parent, but I have taught both high school and college level students. You should make the apartment, car, and other things something he should work hard to get.
I hope I can lavish some of those things on my son when he comes of age, but he won't get Sh*t unless the grades are tight and our relationship is tight. And he still won't get a Beemer. Maybe after graduation, but until then it's Honda or Toyota living.
Take it however you want to. . .
I agree with him. It is understandable that you would want your son to have a college education so that part is not debateable. The other expeneses is where I see the problem. Hell the way he been actin at home, do you think that iiit will be any better if he is across the coutry in an apartment with no kind of supervision. I say the dorms on campus work just fine, as does a bike. Now a car (BMW at that) + an apartment mixed with someone who blatantly disrepects ur rules does not make a good combination especially when he is across the country. I think there should be ore of a focus on what is needed at this point rather than what is wanted. When he acts how you as his parents want him to act, thas when he should be worried about receiving what he wants.
As far as the rest of the thread I will not touch it, because alot of people come on here and ask for advice.
Cafe, and Aggie:
What you see is your right. What you know needs some work. Engage all of your faculties when you embark upon fiscal questions. Your HELP and suggestions leave me at a loss for words. I digress...
That you would latch onto an expense that is less than 1% of my annual expenses and accuse me of having a "boosted ego" situation absolutely baffles me.
You have NO and I do mean NO idea how tiny, tiny, tiny that 40K is on my side of the keyboard. Again, my post was about my not feelin this expense at this time. Nothing more...nothing less.
Trust me you will NEVER get the opportunity to truthfully post that I entered into a discussion with you about My finances.
i could give a monkey's **** about your damn finances... i have kept my damn thoughts to myself, and i could care less that you give your son a BMW, givin him his own place $400 to spend... sure sounds like braggin to me... let me tell you what I do... i work for mines, i barely have enough to pay not one, but TWO cell phone bills, car insurance, and my apartment...
why you have a boosted ego? b/c you just said you was handing things to your son on a silver platter.... i had things on a silver platter, and i blew them... but i've gained so much more, i gained a stronger sense of responsibility, i gained a lot stronger work ethic, hell, even when i could've had things from my parents, i turned them down b/c i was tired of being spoiled... i had to do things for myself... it's real sickening, b/c there are some parents who WANT to do the things you do for your child, but they can't do b/c they DON'T have the finances, like my parents... I tell them not to do it, but they still attempt to... that's why you have a boosted ego
and Monte's right.... i ain't seen one thing positive... every time it's "Husband wants to kick him out, but i'm gonna give him one more chance after one more chance", so he's gonna keep doing the same thing over and over and over again... his work ethic WILL suck.... how bout makin him put the weed down and get a job...
i don't care about your finances, but it gets REALLY OLD that you keep braggin on and on and on... i never hated on you, i never said much of anything to you... so don't try to jive me... it's not gonna work... :x
More skepticism...more scrutiny...
That you would latch onto an expense that is less than 1% of my annual expenses and accuse me of having a "boosted ego" situation absolutely baffles me.
You have NO and I do mean NO idea how tiny, tiny, tiny that 40K is on my side of the keyboard. Again, my post was about my not feelin this expense at this time. Nothing more...nothing less.
Trust me you will NEVER get the opportunity to truthfully post that I entered into a discussion with you about My finances.
You are obviously a bit mentally unstable. I'm sure the only reason you have turned to the young adults on this website for "advice", is because the people around you (in the real world) are BEYOND tired of your idle chatter.
If the cost is nothing to you, what is the point of this thread?
More skepticism...more scrutiny...
That you would latch onto an expense that is less than 1% of my annual expenses and accuse me of having a "boosted ego" situation absolutely baffles me.
You have NO and I do mean NO idea how tiny, tiny, tiny that 40K is on my side of the keyboard. Again, my post was about my not feelin this expense at this time. Nothing more...nothing less.
Trust me you will NEVER get the opportunity to truthfully post that I entered into a discussion with you about My finances.
You are obviously a bit mentally unstable. I'm sure the only reason you have turned to the young adults on this website for "advice", is because the people around you (in the real world) are BEYOND tired of your idle chatter.
If the cost is nothing to you, what is the point of this thread?
:lol: :lol: Yall ****'s have me laughing too hard. But yall are speaking the truth. No one really want to read what u can give to your son.
But please, as advise to u college mom, quit bragging. You could have easily said "I give my son an allowance, got him a car, and paying his tuition out my pocket" and leave it at that. No need for the specifics of the car and allowance and how much u pay
:lol: :lol: Yall ****'s have me laughing too hard. But yall are speaking the truth. No one really want to read what u can give to your son.
But please, as advise to u college mom, quit bragging. You could have easily said "I give my son an allowance, got him a car, and paying his tuition out my pocket" and leave it at that. No need for the specifics of the car and allowance and how much u pay
First off I would like you to consider what your words sound like to us.. Bragging. You know very well what you are doing. The majority of our parents are not able to afford half of the things that you give your son and based on the things that YOU have said about his character he probably does not deserve all of them. However I will say that those of us who have not been born with the silver spoon in our mouths like your son has will be plenty better off for it. My advice...stop acting your sons friend...you're just ending up his fool...
